Monday, April 17, 2017

Where are you?

When we were in Sweden...

Miss you ...

Miss your so badly, my darling husband.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Looking for him in the crowd

Words cannot describe the heavy heart feeling when I think of my beloved hubby. A poem I learned when I was a little girl always comes to my mind when I was "lost" in those moments.

《青玉案 元夕》 辛棄疾 (1140-1207)

In the huge crowds, I must find him!
I search and search for countless times ...
Suddenly ...
Turning my head, (it seems) he's there... where the lights glow dimly.

Monday, April 10, 2017


How much longer is my life? A brief night ...

I do not know the day my pain will end yet in the little garden I had them plant seeds of autumn flowers

Poem: Alone in this world


Where are the generations before me that have gone?
Where are the generations behind me coming?
I think of the unlimited and endless heaven and earth,
And I am all alone in this world; my tears fall down silently.

Poem: Thoughts of the Deceased Life

This is a poem written by a Tang Dynasty poet, Yuen Zhen who traveled Wu Mountain; On the surface, he depicted the beautiful mountain scene, but in fact he expressed his tremendous passion and longing for his wife.

離思元稹 ("Thoughts of the Deceased Life")
No other waters could impress me for I have crossed the vast  seas;
No other clouds could please me for I have viewed majestic mountain peak.
I will never glance again at other flowers;
For my destined love is half for you, and half for the Taoism.

When life was suddenly cut short

"When Breath Becomes Air" is a book about life-affirming reflection on facing mortality unexpectedly. The author, Paul Kalanithi was a neurosurgeon who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He passed away almost at the same time of my beloved hubby who also worked in the medical research field. I found this book is very informative and inspirational for those who are at the end of their lives; but at the same time I feel so helplessness of losing the loved ones.